I sat the other night in deep meditation. Words can not express the unfolding, but alas, I humbly try. Here I sit as a man in my mid years, and although I feel vibrant, healthy and alive, nevertheless the hand of time churns and death to youth has announced itself.   Yet, despite the fading of my younger self, I see the life emerging in my two kids.  It is here at this intersection of thought where my muses traveled. Miles and Asa, and all the new ones emerging onto the scene now stand in a world that is dramatically different than the one of my childhood.   Chronic sickness has bloomed and has impacted everyone upon the snow globe.  Things are turning at a faster and faster rate and yet we feel behind.  Social media has created a weird landscape of disconnected connection. Infertility and Cancer are seemingly unstoppable. Men and women seem at odds and governments around the world seemingly do not care.  Things can seem bleak. Sorry for painting such a picture, but I feel that until we look at the woes we can not move forward. So let us sit with the pain for a moment.   Let us breath for a moment.   Take your time, and do not push away the ugliness.....Go there...

Outdated thoughts of waiting for a knight in shining armor, a messiah, or in our modern case, a government to do the right thing continue to dominate the landscape. All the while we sit, like children, waiting to be saved.  For centuries we have waited, and waited and waited, and after all of the waiting, this is the world that we now live in.   

While waiting has seemed sensible. For some reason we seem hard wired to believe that someone else is going to pick up the trash. We have to ask ourselves the question, Is more waiting going to change anything?

I know that I have waited too long, and although my hair is greying, and body aching more these days I have realized that it is time to grow up. There is no one except you and I that can dig ourselves out of this lovely mess.  Let us not drop into denial mode.  Let us just look.  The stats present some inescapable realities.  

Now, as we look at the pile of trash it is so easy to get overwhelmed.  The mind turns, "It is just to big."  The urge to run to social media, TV, wine, food, work or bury ourselves in busy production is so tempting.  I encourage you to look.  I am looking with you. We can do this....Oh there is the pain, oh there is the shame. Oh there is the guilt..."Let's run." The mind says. This reaction is not different from a child hiding from the boogie man.   Is running going to change the fear?  Let's look again. 

I know it hurts. I want to turn from my loneliness. I want to run into the arms of another, and yet even after that embrace the monster is still there... "Damn!"  ... That did not work...

Let's dig deep and realize that when we sit long enough in the wound we awaken to see that we are the boogie man and we have only been running from ourselves.  This may sound like terrible news, but it truly is the gospel.  After all once we see that we are the culprit, we understand that we are the solution.  At first it this is a kick in the groin. It is a blow that the mind loves to evade. However, are we going to take the medicine or just keep waiting?

This is where my journey of death comes full circle. If we are going to celebrate this journey into growing up we must, on behalf of our children's future, die to our childish ways.   I wish I could tell you that this is a one and done event, but life is more tidal than that.  So welcome the journey into the arms of the abyss.   Welcome loneliness again and do not run.  Keep looking, keep feeling, and keep breathing. 

Do this as many times until the pain no longer pangs upon your heart.  I am here with you.  

The pain of the world and of you when pierced with care and attention pulls us from the illusion of other and puts us into sole relationship with self. Only here can we be accountable for the mess our our own lives and in turn take out the world's trash.  Only here can we wake up from the old myth of waiting and step forward as the grown ups that the children of tomorrow will need.

​Take a deep breath.  It is not as big of a task as your mind makes it out to be. Just feel. 

My time as a kid is over. The wheel has turned and there is no going back. However, my time as a mature gardener has arrived and I stand poised to tend the garden of life. My kids, your kids, and all of the future kids of tomorrow need not children to raise them, but rather they need grown ups to guide them into the world that we have all been waiting for. Now isn't that ironic. 

Much love to you all on the quest.  Dig deep and let the fire of pain burn away your Childhood ways.   It is time to grow up.  We are the ones we have been waiting for. PEACE

Lately I have been playing with the Wim Hoff approach. This is a method in which breathing and ice immersion play a large role in supporting our bodies in remembering the power of being uncomfortable.  It has a common myth in our modern day society to associate comfort with happiness.  The Wim Hoff method, in addition to many methods used throughout the ages, dispel the myth of comfort and place the participant into a challenging ritual.  Whether it is ice immersion, or a Native American sweat lodge, the fundamental practice is to go beyond the mental obstacles that often limit us in unlocking our fullest capacity.  Even in physical exertion how often do we witness the mind quit when the body has abundance?  

Our bodies are designed for so much more, however, for many of us, when we are confronted with challenge, we often  believe a lie that claims impossibility or we fight back.  Whether it is the challenge of a financial burden, the challenge of a relationship, or the challenge of the body not working as hoped, discomfort will eventually come in our lives.  In the world we live, we have created devices, technologies and medicines that enable us to bypass discomfort, or we rely on mental lies that state that we are right to avoid feeling the discomfort. However, in many of the ancient traditions bypassing discomfort was not an option, and often it was understood in the psychology of the ancient systems that pain was a bridge for healing.

There is wisdom in these ancient systems and when we connect to discomfort instead of avoiding it or resisting it, our bodies rises to the challenge. However, if we do not allow ourselves to connect to the discomfort, we never utilize the bridge in our natural mechanisms to support us moving over the discomfort.  

Just the other day I had a client's husband yell at me in the clinic because I was late to the appointment by 2 minutes.  As he yelled, my knee jerk reaction wanted to fight and for a moment I tried to defend. Fortunately, as the pain hit, and the discomfort sunk in, I tuned into breathing, I let go and surrendered to the natural process. In a beautiful way, it was like standing in a wind storm and just letting the wind blow.  I allowed the wind in  my mind to blow in the same way I allowed his angry words to blow.  By the end of the transaction, it felt healing for me to apologize for being late. 

This experience is not any different than sitting in the cold snow.  The discomfort hits, and then the surrender allows the cold to be met with understanding and ease.  

Pain is a bridge.  Discomfort is a bridge, and where it takes us is not just beyond the pain, bur more importantly, it takes us to our truth.  Who are we when we stop believing the lies in our heads?  Who are we when we stop believing the conditioning of society? 

These are the timeless questions, and in the end the only way to uncover them is for you to unify with your whole life and not just the moments of comfort.  

Deepen into your life and cross the bridge.  

Sharks can't fly, Crows can't swim. Sunflowers do not envy the rose, it is just itself. Nature has held this message for time immemorial . Humanity fears the individual landscape , because the feeling of being Alone paralyzes our true intelligence . Uncovering the wisdom of the flower that blooms in the mountain valley where no recognition will be known is essential.


 We must Dance because it is our calling  our Love, our expression , not for the praise. 

In the end the individual has to find so much Self Love, that , somehow, the power of selfishness does not erode the world , but instead pollinates the world with a person , a snow flake, a flower , a creature that the world has and will never see again. In Nature uniqueness serves the whole, and in my heart , I feel, uniqueness will set humanity free, because each person's Love will fit beautifully into the grand mysterious puzzle of Life. 

Your wound is the doctors passion, your dance is the awe of the audience in the way the pollen is the gift for the bee and the outward breath of human is the gift for the tree. Observing life the way it is yields the wonderful gift of understanding that Life just works when we leave it alone and simply allow ourselves to Be one with who we are right Now in the way the bird is just itself, and the leaf is just the leaf. It is really this simple.  Do not take my word, Go out and Test it.  Go out and Be You, because this is really all there is. 

Everything in life is subject to transformation and change. Even the mighty Sequoia eventually submits to the call to return to the earth. Do we fear transition and change, or can we harness its power for healing?  The latter, in my eyes, is a healthier way to walk upon the earth. 

 
A few weeks during a Yoga class, I was speaking to one of my students who had a history of Cancer. During this candid talk, one of my other students, began to demonstrate a look of concern and worry, and immediately attempted to silence my "innocent" informative chatter with a hand gesturing imploring the conversation to stop.   At that time I apologized to this worried student and wrapped up the conversation. However, in the ensuing days I realized that I had succumbed to a fear within myself, a fear worried about hurting the feelings of another, instead of standing in Power of the the innocence, the Power transition.  Too often we look away from illness, death, disease, discomfort, and in doing so we do ourselves a disservice. We can not tip toe around the harshness of life, in fact we have to walk boldly into the unknown with openness. Only here, with open eyes and hearts, can we learn.  In my reflective reverie, I realized, that instead of stopping the conversation about Cancer, a healthier response would have been to validate the concerns of the worried student, and yet nudge this student into her fears via the gift of Yoga.  

In Peru, the Shamanic tradition of the Quero Indians hold a term called Miqui, which translates into transfer of energy or transformation. Yoga is a healing tradition that offers Miqui.   Instead of ceasing the conversation and returning to the land of ignorance, take your fears, worries and concerns into your practice, into your breath and witness the transformation of fear into understanding.   

To me, this is being both sensitive and responsible. We have looked away for too long, and this is has only led to a path of illness and further illness. It is time to dive into the Shadow lands of fear and the unknown with our Practice and liberate ourselves from the imagined fear of mind.   

Yoga, where movement is medicine of body and mind. 

I have been reflecting lately on the story of the prodigal son and how this parable relates to the process of healing the body.  For those not familiar with this biblical tale, it essentially is a symbolic story about a son who abandoned his home, his center, and wandered in the world only to realize that what he was looking for, in the world, was where the story began, in his home. Modern day interpretations of this Archetypal quest, to name two, are the Wizard of Oz, and The Alchemist.  This story, and the stories that carry this message are beautiful, however in the story books, and on the silver screen the tale ends when the hero is embraced at the homestead. However, there is more to this story than merely the welcome home party. There is the work that follows the party.  

In a beautiful way, all of our lives, all of our stories follow this trajectory. Whether we have been lost in power, greed, need for fame, need for control, need for youth, desire for success, or yearnings for love, all our outer attempts to complete our lives are symbolized in these stories as the act of leaving our innocence, departing from our primordial love, leaving our home with the eventual insight that all that we were looking for, is grounded in the center of our being, our home.   

So, how does this relate to healing the body? The body, to me, is yet another representation of home. While the adventure away from home yields excitement and pleasure, the adventure eventually yields a feeling of emptiness, and darkness.  Nevertheless, the hero/heroine driven by the darkness, isolation, and emptiness of the quest, manages to follow the trail back home to the loving embrace of home, the body.  This return to the body, as mentioned before, is where the story ends, but in my discovery, this return is only the first step in the process of healing. 

During the time of the great "outer" adventure, the body was abandoned, and in the manner of an abandoned house with no person home to manage the property, the building begins to break.  Thus, when the human mind returns home, following the embrace of a welcome return, the work to repair the abandoned structure begins.  Awakening to weakness, and illness in the physical body, and engaging in deeply rooted psychological wounds challenges the hero to stay at home after the welcome home sign has been taken down.  With compulsions to abandon the home again,  the hero must dig deep, and rely upon courage and strength to stay and heal the body. Yes,  departing is a temptation, but these are wounds and weaknesses that must be investigated and understood "Now".  

This critical moment is a choice.  It is a walk across fire, but if the wounds of the body and mind that led to the departure are not challenged, then true transformation and restoration of the abandoned home is not possible.  However, the choice, to stay amidst the stirring of old patterns and wounds, of aching joints and diseased organs is the heros and the heros alone, and yet, the hero need not walk alone.  For centuries, this mythic tale of the hero coming home and rebuilding has been a part of humanities collective story, and for you this too can be, as it has been for me.  We heal our body and mind, by calling upon the strength of our ancestors in times of need, of digging deep and going beyond the afflictions that have haunted us for years. 

Abandoning the home is no longer an option.  The time to heal is now, and the support of our collective humanity is on your side.  I wish you well in the journey home and the strength to reside in the abandoned home to rebuild it anew.  Blessings! 

Lately I have been reflection upon the teachings of the Toltecs, the wise teachers of the Aztec tradition.  In their teachings, there is a fundamental principle of allowing creation to unfold in an unobstructed manner without interference.  

If we take this principle and apply it to our relationship with others, we quickly realize how often we obstruct life and persons as we strive to change others for some hidden agenda.  Changing persons to comply to an inner belief structure,to the Toltecs was defined as domestication. 

For me, as a healer, early in my career, I often tried to change people, or bodies, or disease conditions to acquire some validation of my worth.  From my point of view, "How could I be a healer if people did not get better? " 

However, over the years I have learned that this motivation was truly oriented on satisfying a personal agenda and was not oriented on the well being of the other.  In other words, I was asserting my point of view of health and healing on others in an attempt to make myself feel better.  I was trying to domesticate others to feel good about myself.  Yikes!  

In the end, this point of view and the action that stemmed forth from this point of view led me into a total collapse of energy and coerced me to re-evaluate my belief structures.  The Toltec teachings, among other wisdom teachings, were instrumental in supporting my mind to a place of harmony with the way life is, versus always trying to domesticate life to comply to some inner agenda or blue print on how life should unfold. 

When we try to domesticate others, even in the name of good intention, we assume a posture of superiority and this posture fails to see the inherent beauty of life in the moment. I can remember arguing with my parents over why eating non organic foods was harming their body.  Yes, in the end, it is probably better to eat organically, however, if my agenda asserts itself without harmonizing with the relationship at hand, then a war ensues and this war divides hearts.  To be honest, as much as I would love my parents to eat better, I have found that it is better to be in harmony with the way they are and to simply love them for who they are.  This reminds me of a passage from the Beatitudes, "Blessed are the Peace Makers". 

Lately, I am finding that we need to exfoliate our minds of beliefs that divide our relationship with the present moment and to simply live fully engaged in the miracle of this moment as it is.  This is not a new teaching, in fact it is an Ancient teaching beyond time and space, and because of this timeless nature this teachings renews itself in our hearts and mind with every moment.  

My challenge to you in this moment, is to examine your struggles, your dramas, your pains and look to see what belief lies beneath the surface dividing your heart from Life.  My challenge, like the challenge of the Toltecs,  is to ask you to see what happens when you just let life unfold as it is without trying to domesticate it. Many questions of the mind will arise, but these questions are simply the mind struggling to relinquish control. Place yourself in your heart and just let life be.  The mind will struggle, however,  if it is of any use,  during these times of mental doubt, remember there is a sun, a moon, a planet and an entire Universe completely unfolding, miraculously, without a need for control.  This Universal energy is organizing this life in your kitchen, car, bedroom, or workplace, and it does not need to be domesticated in order for it to beautifully do its thing.  

Step back, take a deep breath, and be at peace with life, In fact just Be!! 

Peace and Blessings on the Journey...: ) A