I sat the other night in deep meditation. Words can not express the unfolding, but alas, I humbly try. Here I sit as a man in my mid years, and although I feel vibrant, healthy and alive, nevertheless the hand of time churns and death to youth has announced itself. Yet, despite the fading of my younger self, I see the life emerging in my two kids. It is here at this intersection of thought where my muses traveled. Miles and Asa, and all the new ones emerging onto the scene now stand in a world that is dramatically different than the one of my childhood. Chronic sickness has bloomed and has impacted everyone upon the snow globe. Things are turning at a faster and faster rate and yet we feel behind. Social media has created a weird landscape of disconnected connection. Infertility and Cancer are seemingly unstoppable. Men and women seem at odds and governments around the world seemingly do not care. Things can seem bleak. Sorry for painting such a picture, but I feel that until we look at the woes we can not move forward. So let us sit with the pain for a moment. Let us breath for a moment. Take your time, and do not push away the ugliness.....Go there...
Outdated thoughts of waiting for a knight in shining armor, a messiah, or in our modern case, a government to do the right thing continue to dominate the landscape. All the while we sit, like children, waiting to be saved. For centuries we have waited, and waited and waited, and after all of the waiting, this is the world that we now live in.
While waiting has seemed sensible. For some reason we seem hard wired to believe that someone else is going to pick up the trash. We have to ask ourselves the question, Is more waiting going to change anything?
I know that I have waited too long, and although my hair is greying, and body aching more these days I have realized that it is time to grow up. There is no one except you and I that can dig ourselves out of this lovely mess. Let us not drop into denial mode. Let us just look. The stats present some inescapable realities.
Now, as we look at the pile of trash it is so easy to get overwhelmed. The mind turns, "It is just to big." The urge to run to social media, TV, wine, food, work or bury ourselves in busy production is so tempting. I encourage you to look. I am looking with you. We can do this....Oh there is the pain, oh there is the shame. Oh there is the guilt..."Let's run." The mind says. This reaction is not different from a child hiding from the boogie man. Is running going to change the fear? Let's look again.
I know it hurts. I want to turn from my loneliness. I want to run into the arms of another, and yet even after that embrace the monster is still there... "Damn!" ... That did not work...
Let's dig deep and realize that when we sit long enough in the wound we awaken to see that we are the boogie man and we have only been running from ourselves. This may sound like terrible news, but it truly is the gospel. After all once we see that we are the culprit, we understand that we are the solution. At first it this is a kick in the groin. It is a blow that the mind loves to evade. However, are we going to take the medicine or just keep waiting?
This is where my journey of death comes full circle. If we are going to celebrate this journey into growing up we must, on behalf of our children's future, die to our childish ways. I wish I could tell you that this is a one and done event, but life is more tidal than that. So welcome the journey into the arms of the abyss. Welcome loneliness again and do not run. Keep looking, keep feeling, and keep breathing.
Do this as many times until the pain no longer pangs upon your heart. I am here with you.
The pain of the world and of you when pierced with care and attention pulls us from the illusion of other and puts us into sole relationship with self. Only here can we be accountable for the mess our our own lives and in turn take out the world's trash. Only here can we wake up from the old myth of waiting and step forward as the grown ups that the children of tomorrow will need.
Take a deep breath. It is not as big of a task as your mind makes it out to be. Just feel.
My time as a kid is over. The wheel has turned and there is no going back. However, my time as a mature gardener has arrived and I stand poised to tend the garden of life. My kids, your kids, and all of the future kids of tomorrow need not children to raise them, but rather they need grown ups to guide them into the world that we have all been waiting for. Now isn't that ironic.
Much love to you all on the quest. Dig deep and let the fire of pain burn away your Childhood ways. It is time to grow up. We are the ones we have been waiting for. PEACE
Outdated thoughts of waiting for a knight in shining armor, a messiah, or in our modern case, a government to do the right thing continue to dominate the landscape. All the while we sit, like children, waiting to be saved. For centuries we have waited, and waited and waited, and after all of the waiting, this is the world that we now live in.
While waiting has seemed sensible. For some reason we seem hard wired to believe that someone else is going to pick up the trash. We have to ask ourselves the question, Is more waiting going to change anything?
I know that I have waited too long, and although my hair is greying, and body aching more these days I have realized that it is time to grow up. There is no one except you and I that can dig ourselves out of this lovely mess. Let us not drop into denial mode. Let us just look. The stats present some inescapable realities.
Now, as we look at the pile of trash it is so easy to get overwhelmed. The mind turns, "It is just to big." The urge to run to social media, TV, wine, food, work or bury ourselves in busy production is so tempting. I encourage you to look. I am looking with you. We can do this....Oh there is the pain, oh there is the shame. Oh there is the guilt..."Let's run." The mind says. This reaction is not different from a child hiding from the boogie man. Is running going to change the fear? Let's look again.
I know it hurts. I want to turn from my loneliness. I want to run into the arms of another, and yet even after that embrace the monster is still there... "Damn!" ... That did not work...
Let's dig deep and realize that when we sit long enough in the wound we awaken to see that we are the boogie man and we have only been running from ourselves. This may sound like terrible news, but it truly is the gospel. After all once we see that we are the culprit, we understand that we are the solution. At first it this is a kick in the groin. It is a blow that the mind loves to evade. However, are we going to take the medicine or just keep waiting?
This is where my journey of death comes full circle. If we are going to celebrate this journey into growing up we must, on behalf of our children's future, die to our childish ways. I wish I could tell you that this is a one and done event, but life is more tidal than that. So welcome the journey into the arms of the abyss. Welcome loneliness again and do not run. Keep looking, keep feeling, and keep breathing.
Do this as many times until the pain no longer pangs upon your heart. I am here with you.
The pain of the world and of you when pierced with care and attention pulls us from the illusion of other and puts us into sole relationship with self. Only here can we be accountable for the mess our our own lives and in turn take out the world's trash. Only here can we wake up from the old myth of waiting and step forward as the grown ups that the children of tomorrow will need.
Take a deep breath. It is not as big of a task as your mind makes it out to be. Just feel.
My time as a kid is over. The wheel has turned and there is no going back. However, my time as a mature gardener has arrived and I stand poised to tend the garden of life. My kids, your kids, and all of the future kids of tomorrow need not children to raise them, but rather they need grown ups to guide them into the world that we have all been waiting for. Now isn't that ironic.
Much love to you all on the quest. Dig deep and let the fire of pain burn away your Childhood ways. It is time to grow up. We are the ones we have been waiting for. PEACE
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